Mindfulness: What is it and how can it help me?
Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, defined mindfulness as “paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally”. When one is mindful, they are existing in the present moment, thinking, feeling, and sensing the here and now. Being mindful means intentionally acknowledging one’s present reality, not how things should be, could be, or have been.
The human brain is skilled at taking us out of the present moment: rehashing a past argument, ruminating over past regrets, worrying about an upcoming responsibility. This can be helpful at times and has contributed to our species’ ability to survive. However, this can also be detrimental to our choices, reactions, and mental wellness. When we get stuck in a habitual thought pattern that fixates on the past or the future, we may make misguided decisions that are not grounded in our present reality. Mindfulness-based practices aid us in redirecting our attention to the here and now, the only time in which we exist.
A key point of mindfulness is being nonjudgmental of our present experience. This can be hard to do, but with practice, can become a way of being rather than a technique.
Here’s an example: Let’s say at work this morning, I made a mistake that needed to be corrected quickly. After I realize I’ve made the mistake, my stomach drops, my chest tightens. I begin to feel worried, scared, and maybe ashamed that I made the mistake. I then start experiencing self-defeating thoughts of “Why do you always do this?” “You’re stupid” “You’re going to get fired and then how are you going to pay rent”. I may feel that my feelings and thoughts are out of my control and I’m just along on this stressful ride. I may react impulsively and unintentionally invite more problems to the table.
But what if we were to approach this experience in a more mindful way? After I make the mistake, I notice my stomach drops and chest tightens. I acknowledge this sensation without placing a judgment on it. I may say “I can feel my chest tightening”. I may notice feelings of worry, fear, shame and simply state “I’m experiencing these feelings”. If self-defeating thoughts occur, I can acknowledge the thoughts without identifying with them such as “I’m experiencing a thought that I’m stupid. That thought is not helpful”. I can notice my respirations increasing and engage in a few deep breaths, shifting from the sympathetic nervous system to the parasympathetic nervous system (soothing the body’s stress response). I may then be in a state where I can examine possible solutions to the mistake and respond, rather than impulsively react.
Mindfulness helps us become a curious observer of our experience, avoiding becoming the experience itself. When we practice mindfulness, especially in anxiety provoking situations, we allow our brain to access a fuller capacity of decision making skills because we are able to see the full picture of our reality instead of fixating on one component. Viktor Frankl, famous neurologist and founder of Logotherapy, states this much more eloquently: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response, lies our growth and our freedom”. Mindfulness-based practices help us to slow down our decision-making processes and find that space where we can choose how we respond.
Mindfulness can be tough to understand if you just read about it. Rick Hanson, author of Neurodharma, states “We must feel what we want to grow”. Therefore, we must experience the practice of mindfulness to understand its impact and to foster its growth.
Here are some simple ways you can practice mindfulness on a daily basis:
Pick one daily activity (brushing your teeth, cleaning dishes, walking the dogs, etc) to remain mindful of. If you’re brushing your teeth, focus on the sensations you’re experiencing: the feeling of the bristles against your teeth, gums, and tongue; the smell and taste of the minty toothpaste; acknowledge thoughts that may pop up during this; notice your breathing pattern while doing this activity. Simply noting the experience of the present moment without judgment.
Pay attention to how you are communicating to those closest to you. How do you feel when interacting with them? What sensations do you experience in your body? What thoughts are you having? How do these sensations and thoughts impact your communication style? Is there an opportunity to find that space of choice before you respond to them?
Go outside and take a mindful walk (or engage in mindful movement), paying attention to the movement of your body while it walks. This could be the feeling of the heel, the arch, and the ball of your foot coming down and up. You could scan your body for different sensations at it moves. You could pay attention to the sensation of breathing as your heart rate increases. If thoughts arise, you can acknowledge them without identifying with them, and redirect your attention to the sensation of your body moving.
Take in the whole visual field in front of you, not focusing on anything specific. Then move your focus to one object. Take in that object fully. Notice its shape, color, texture. If you can, hold it in your hands. Change its position and notice this different perspective of the same object. Accept the object as it is, without placing a judgment of good/bad, pleasant/unpleasant on it.
Express gratitude for the present moment, as it is the only moment we are existing. You may thank your body for breathing. You may thank the earth for providing resources to you that help you survive. You may thank your mind for helping you heal through past negative experiences. You may express gratitude for a loved one and their support.
If you would like to learn more about how mindfulness can have a positive impact on our mental wellness, feel free to schedule a 15 minute consultation with me where we can discuss your specific concerns and if holistic psychotherapy would be a good match for your needs.
References:
Goleman, D., & Davidson, R. J. (2018). Altered traits: Science reveals how meditation changes your mind, brain, and body. New York, NY: Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.
Hanson, R. (2020). Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness. New York, NY: Harmony Books.