Finding Calm Amidst Chaos
We are in unprecedented times where many of us are having to navigate a new normal. We may be socially isolated, experiencing major life transitions, having difficulty feeling calm and at peace amidst chaos and crisis. We may notice our self-care take a nosedive and that our sole focus is on surviving the next day, hour, minute. We may find ourselves clinging to the comforts and familiarity of the past, fixated on “When are things going to go back to normal?”. We may feel fearful of what our future looks like for ourselves and our loved ones.
All of these reactions (and many more) are valid.
Can we find calm amidst chaos? And if so, how?
Self-Compassion
I believe that as human beings, we all have an unshakeable core that can carry us throughout even the most distressing situations. You have survived every experience you have had thus far. Your mind, body, and soul have carried you until this moment. Remind yourself of the many internal strengths your survival has required. Express compassion toward yourself and thank yourself for that unshakeable core. You may even hold a hand on your heart while doing so, increasing the mind-body connection. You may choose a positive affirmation to help you navigate the unique stressors that are presented to you like “I am safe and supported. I have all the answers within me to handle this”.
Know your zone
You can think of yourself as being in three different zones at different times in your life. We have our comfort zone, our challenged zone, and our overwhelmed zone. Our comfort zone is familiar, our needs are met, and resources are abundant. In our challenged zone we may feel like a need is not being met but that we have the internal or external resources to meet it. In our overwhelmed zone, we usually feel that our needs are not being met and that we do not have the resources available to us. So what zone are you in?
Have a plan of action
It may be helpful to think about a plan of action for each zone. If you are in your comfort zone, you can express gratitude for having the internal and external resources available to you and that your needs are met, sitting with this present moment of fulfillment. If you have determined you’re in the challenged zone, you may engage in your favorite self-care activity like exercising, meditating, going on a walk in nature, or cuddling with your pet. You can express gratitude for having the resources available to you for your unmet need. If you have determined you’re in the overwhelmed zone, self-soothing is key. You can ask yourself “Am I safe? How can I make my environment more safe for me?” You can engage in a deep breathing exercise or a body scan, grounding your body in the present moment. You can repeat a positive affirmation like “I am safe. Life fully supports me”.
The key is having a plan of action before you get into each zone. Think of it like having a toolbox with you: specific tools for specific zones.
Reach out
I know for a lot of us, this is a pretty difficult step. Asking for help and support can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, especially if we have internalized messages that asking for help is a sign of weakness or that it places a burden on others. You are not weak and you are not a burden. Please reference “Self-Compassion” for a refresher.
We are interdependent beings, meaning we exist because of an infinite number of causes and conditions. I exist because you exist and vice versa. Mutual support is integral to our mental and physical wellness.
Reaching out can look different for everyone. You can contact your mental health professional and schedule a session. You can seek out faith-based support. You can reach out to a loved one that you feel safe with and supported by.
(If you feel that you do not have safe individuals to reach out to right now, psychotherapy may be a great benefit to you. Feel free to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation with me to see if holistic psychotherapy would be a good match for your needs).
There are many other ways in which you can help yourself find peace and calm amidst chaos and crisis. It is important that throughout it all, you express compassion toward yourself, reminding yourself of the internal strengths you possess and of your unshakeable core.
“You are the sky. Everything else — it's just the weather.”
— Pema Chödrön
**If you experience suicidal or homicidal ideations, dial 911 immediately.
Please see other crisis resources below:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)
Crisis Text Line (Text “HOME” to 741-741)
LGBT National Hotline (888-843-4564)
SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357)